In communicating with other people you always want sincerity. That is why we try to believe everything we are told. But there are situations when you start to doubt: is a person really as honest with you as he is? If such suspicions begin to creep in, it is worthwhile to take a closer look at this person.
How to understand that a person is lying? For this it is important to remember the main signs pointing to lies.
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7 Main Signs Of Lie and how to understand a person is lying →
1. Answer a question to a question
One of the most banal and simple ways to get away from the answer. This is done by those people who are afraid or do not know how to lie. Or perhaps a person suspects that you already know the truth and are afraid that he will be taken by surprise now.
What to do? In this case, ignore the counter question and remind you what you asked. If a person leaves the answer a second time - he is definitely hiding something from you.
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2. Tries to laugh it off
A joking attitude may also indicate that the person simply did not expect such a question. But in most cases, sarcasm and joke answers are an effective way to avoid a serious conversation and make everyone laugh.
For example: -
You lied to me yesterday? -
Yes, I lied, I'm constantly lying to you! Such a liar!
The man laughed off, took your attention away from the topic of conversation, and then actually tells you that he really spoke honestly that he had lied, namely, you did not take these words seriously.
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What to do? If a person jokes about the answer - focus on the fact that you understand why he does it. Repeat your question again and ask to answer seriously. Anyone who is lying will definitely continue to joke or start another tactic of avoiding a conversation: counter-questions, aggression, accusations.
3. Charges
A very popular way to divert attention from lies. If you have expressed your suspicions about deception and are trying to find out the truth - a person may begin to remember you old offenses. "But remember, three months ago you lied, but now you accuse me of that." If a person tries to level the score in this way, it only means that he is guilty. A reminder that “you did that too then” is actually a plea of guilt, even if in words a person continues to avoid direct answers.
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What to do? Focus on the fact that past problems do not relate to this situation, and repeat your question. If this is followed by resentment and irritability, and not a calm dialogue - most likely, the person is lying.
4. Avoids live communication, tries to write everything in text form.
Psychologists say that a person who is lying avoids direct eye contact and looks away. But we do not always communicate live. Using remote communication, lying is much easier, you do not need to look into your eyes, answer questions immediately (there is time to think of what you need when writing a message), a person does not hear your voice.
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Your interlocutor can understand this and avoid requests for a personal meeting, he will prefer to solve all the problems in a text form to make it easier for him to lie.
What to do? Insist that you only conduct this conversation live. If a person starts to be offended, blame you for something and look for excuses, then he is not only lying, but he is not going to solve this conflict. Perhaps he hopes to stop communicating, while accusing you of all disagreements in order to disclaim responsibility.
5. Aggressively defends his case, using vague arguments
For example: -
Are you lying to me?
“I've never lied to you before.” (The man does not say that he is not lying now).
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Or: -
Are you lying to me? -
I'm not going to answer stupid questions! (Aggression to not answer honestly).
In this case, a normal dialogue with a person is unlikely to succeed, because such emotional reactions are more likely to lead to a quarrel. What to do? Stop the argument, because it still will not work. But you can be sure that if the interlocutor was satisfied with such an end of the dialogue - he just lies and got exactly what he needed: the question remained unanswered.
6. Pressure on conscience
Making you feel guilty for daring to even ask such a thing and think badly about a person is one of the most sophisticated ways of lying, by avoiding an answer.
For example: - You lied to me? -
So that's what you think of me? Not expected!
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Or: -
You lied to me? -
I thought we trusted each other. Apparently wrong ...
Another: -
You lied to me? -
It seemed to me that you are confident in my honesty. Sorry to sound like such a liar.
All of these answers are spoken with one goal: to shame you, make you feel guilty, make you a bad, incredulous person. If the liar's trick will work, then you will think that you were wrong and you will no longer ask about it.
What to do? Explain calmly and seriously that a direct answer is very important to you and repeat the question. If it is not followed by a calm answer, but irritability and accusations, or attempts to laugh it off, then you can be sure that the person is lying.
7. Complaints that the time is not right for questions
“I’m tired at work, and now you’ve arranged the questioning” or “I’ve been on my feet all day, I’m still hurting my head, I want to rest and not answer questions” - this is a sure way to get away from answering at least a while. There is a possibility that a person is really tired, but perhaps he is simply looking for an opportunity to prepare and come up with an answer.
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What to do? In no case should you demand an immediate answer. You can say.
"The answer does not take more than a minute, but if you are so tired / tired, then talk about it in the morning." But if there are complaints in the morning,“I have not woken up yet and I can’t think,” or “Why are you spoiling your mood since the morning?”,
Then you need to accept that the person simply avoids answering the question, which means that it probably lies to you.
There are many tips on how to define a liar by facial expressions: he is very worried, speaks a lot or, on the contrary, mumbles, blushes or stumbles, touches his face with his hands or goes through an object in his hands. But do not forget that some people always behave this way, regardless of whether they say the truth or not. All these signs indicate only excitement. Therefore, it is important not only to look at the behavior of a person, but also to listen to what he says.
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